bread fail and other adventures

I have a small obsession with food. I love to talk and read about it, grow it, bake it, cook it, eat it, and feed it to others. Though cooking has come pretty naturally, I am relatively new to baking. In fact, Clark is the baker in this family because I just can't resist experimenting - an endeavor that, when baking, usually ends in disaster. This is the latest:

(The red fan at the top is blowing away the putrid smoke
pouring from the bread machine.)

We didn't have any milk, so I thought, "Why not try almond milk? Who cares if it's chocolate?" Then we didn't have any eggs, and I was already in it too deep by then. I tried an egg replacement technique (corn starch + water) but got the ratios wrong - - obviously. Also, I used honey instead of brown sugar. Maybe three substitutions was two too many.

The bread machine is usually pretty safe for me. Anyway. It's not all failure. I made some amazing pita bread for falafel on my first try. Also, Mom G has taught us how to make artisan bread and it works out well most of the time . . . unless you try to substitute whole wheat - then it burns on the outside before it finishes cooking on the inside and the loaf ends up weighing about ten pounds.

(Yeah, I take pictures of my food. So?)

This post inspired by Cake Wrecks, which I found on Sara's blog, and Craft Fail. Check them out.


  1. so completely fabulous!

    you are hilarious!!

    .....do we ever get to try some of your artisan breads?

  2. (Food Science Alert) I'm guessing where you went the most wrong is with the cornstarch. It helps in some foods to replace eggs because it acts as a thickener, which helps to suspend particles, just like an egg is used for in some recipes. With bread, the egg has other functions (complexes with the protein to provide body, as well as the starch to add softness) that make the cornstarch unsuitable for replacement. It sounds like a fun adventure though, and I love that you are so willing to experiment, and share your experiences, that picture made me laugh.